my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
I think I won the penis lottery.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
