talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Randomize
