guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
