so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
When are your genitals available?
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
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