somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
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I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
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Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?