I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
she pinky promised me she was 18
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Randomize
