I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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