what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
