I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
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