I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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