You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
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