whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
That's intense
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize
