"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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