Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Two words: blizzard sex
Randomize