OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Randomize
