No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
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