Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
