maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Randomize
