yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
