Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
