i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
