My Higher Power is John Stamos
he thought i was a dude.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Randomize
