Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
