I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
I understand Curling. That high.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
