I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
the day after is always just damage control
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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