I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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