dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
