His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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