She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
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