Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
people are starting to question the shark bite story
I intend to get homeless drunk
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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