Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Randomize