Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Randomize
