how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
