that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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