My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Randomize
