Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I want to have your abortion
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Randomize
