This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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