Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
