Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize