Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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