Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
