Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Randomize
