can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize