We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Randomize
