Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
