dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Couch. On fire.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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