we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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