It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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