he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
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the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
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You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
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