we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Randomize
