Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
