Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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