I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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