dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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