I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
