And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
