my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Randomize
