Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
