i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
