therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
