I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
accomplished twins. life is a go
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
