Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
