dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
His nipple licking is glorious
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