I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize