ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
