As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
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